One Signature less...

I have been thinking about this for a long time--it seems like months and months, but that cannot be true. Maybe just thinking about something multiple times a day for a week or two makes it seem like months. Funny how thinking about something intensely feels like it has been along time.

The house is being sold. I listed it with an agent yesterday. Apparently, they are coming to take pictures on Friday. I walked around the house today and it looks good. I have moved some furniture and decluttered the "Diego" messes over the last couple of months. It will be ready for when they come with the camera on Friday. It is like people can peek into my inner cave--it must look good and tidy.

A couple of weeks ago, it felt like I was selling A's house. It has always been "our" house but it felt like I was selling his house---something that he owned alone.

I realized last night that this feeling was not really how I was feeling. I made a comment that it feels like I am selling his house---that is not true. I feel like I am selling our house, but I have not made such important decisions without A in over a decade. He is not here for me to ramble on and on about the pros and cons of selling the house. I can hear him-- Whatever you think is best... it is up to you... I would normally spend a week, re-hashing all important decisions and the answer would always be the same--- after a nausiating week he would say--- Damn it! It doesn't matter.... let's just do it!

I had the conversations with him, only in my mind.

I am selling our house. When I signed my name, I said a little prayer--- A, Sign here, right below my name, like you always have done. I handed the paper to the real estate agent, with just one signature.

I know he would have signed the paper too.